At KL Family Law, we understand how challenging divorce can be. Sometimes the relationship and divorce process turns ugly. In these cases, your soon-to-be ex-spouse might be the last person you want to find middle ground with. However, this could be key to finalizing your divorce and protecting your children (if you have any).
We want to help you find solutions for this issue and get you on your way to the freedom and flexibility that comes with getting out of a toxic relationship.
Be a listener
Whether you’re in direct communication with your ex or working through mediation, you should be willing to at least hear out the other side. You won’t be able to negotiate if you don’t understand the terms being offered to you.
The key to being a good listener is to try to leave the past at the door and to stop yourself from trying to think of your counter-offer while the offer is being made. Try to listen, understand, and process what your ex has to say before you step in with what you want in exchange. Sometimes we have clients who want to counter just for the sake of getting back at their ex, even when the offer is reasonable. We will always stand by the desires of our clients, but we want to find amicable solutions when possible.
Be honest with your desires
The opposite end of the listener is the talker. You are going to need to communicate what you’re hoping to get out of the divorce. Don’t waste your part of the conversation mincing words or getting off track. Commit to what you want and communicate this clearly and honestly.
Being honest also means being honest with yourself. You should work to recognize when you’re being unreasonable or even underselling what you want and deserve. It’s okay to shoot for the moon just as much as it’s okay to walk away from the situation with less than you hoped as long as the end result is getting your new life started on the right track.
Be flexible
It’s unlikely you’re going to win every argument and get every single thing you want in your divorce. The key is to make sure you know the aspects you most want out of an agreement and the aspects you care about a little less. Commit yourself to evolve your demands during negotiations and participating in the give-and-take that comes with your divorce.
If you stand your ground, we will stand by you. We represent you and not your ex, so your desires will be honored as best we can. However, we want you to be flexible and understand when there’s room to give and room to take.
Be your best self
We recently talked about moving on after divorce. A lot of moving on can start even while you’re going through the process, and some of the self-care portions of moving on will serve you well during negotiations.
If you’re feeling healthy both mentally and physically, you will always be better prepared to have tough conversations and conquer the frustrations of your ex. Surround yourself with love and recognize what people love about you most. Highlight and lean into these strengths as a tool to get the best result possible.
At KL Family Law, we pride ourselves on working with clients and helping families move forward with compassion and integrity. We will support your wishes and guide you to the best result possible. Contact us today.
KL Family Law
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