We all know that getting a divorce is an emotionally turbulent time. You can easily say things you don’t mean to people that you love. Civil conversations with your ex-spouse can easily devolve into screaming matches. You can see reminders of your situation everywhere you go, without even looking for them. That is why we believe in finding ways to avoid arguments and relieve stress.
The last thing you need in the middle of a divorce is even more stress. Here are our 7 ways to avoid arguments while going through a divorce:
Talk More Clearly, Not More Often. It is a common misconception that after you start the divorce process, you never have to speak to your spouse again. That is not true. A significant portion of the process requires communication between you two.
To help avoid arguments, we recommend communicating more clearly, rather than more often. We find that being overly clear, especially in written communication, leads to more understanding between the divorcing couple. This will actually firmly establish boundaries between you two, rather than bend them. This step is a must.
Take Your Time. If you have received a text message or an e-mail from your ex, remember that there is no expiration limit on responding to it. We are not encouraging you to ghost them all the time, but instead to take the time to make a considered response. How many times do we all think back to times we could have handled things better with the perspective of hindsight? Give yourself the gift of time.
Consider Mediation. Mediation is a divorce process that allows you and your spouse to talk things out rather than head straight to a courtroom. In addition to being cheaper and quicker, it can be more emotionally respectful than plunging into a court battle. If you two are clearly communicating your wishes to each other with a mediator rather than a Judge, it might improve everyone’s attitude about the whole thing.
Keep It Respectful. Even if your ex may not always seem like someone deserving of your respect, do your best to treat them with dignity. Treat them how you would want to be treated. Remember as well that any written communication between you two could potentially be used against you in court. Make sure you always put your best foot forward.
Stay Off of Social Media. You don’t want to post about anything happening in your divorce proceedings while they are going on. This applies even if your accounts are set to private. Just like text messages, any posts you make about the divorce will be seen and considered by everyone involved in the process. We wouldn’t consider this censoring yourself so much as looking out for your own best interests.
Ask For Help! Arguing less leads to clearer communication – being heard and listening to others more. We believe in it strongly here. Contact KL Family Law today if you are currently going through or considering getting a divorce. We believe in helping families move forward with compassion and integrity.
KL Family Law
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