No one thinks that divorce is an easy process. It is not often fun to be a part of. However, some people assume divorce will be the worst time of their life, filled with screaming matches, weeks of courtroom drama, and nights of over-drinking in the bathtub. It doesn’t have to be like that. Divorce may not be easy, but it can be amicable and civil. There are ways to make it a more pleasant experience for everyone involved.
It takes work, and it isn’t entirely your emotional responsibility, but it can be rewarding if you try. Here are our 6 tips for having a more amicable divorce:
Strive for Mutual Respect. You don’t have to love your spouse and everything they are doing, but treating them like another human being with hopes and dreams is a good baseline to set. Understand that even if you don’t like what they are doing, they are doing it for a reason. Mutual respect is the goal, but you can only control how you treat other people, not how they will treat you.
Set Clear Communication Boundaries. The key to better communication is clearer communication. Make very clear the boundaries of communication between you and your spouse, especially any that is done virtually. Resist the temptation to engage on social media.
Work Towards a Common Goal. Both you and your spouse almost always want the same outcome from a divorce: to find a fair place of peace. Even if you don’t agree on how you get there, you can probably agree on the destination. Understand that they don’t really want to be fighting with you all the time either, and you can move towards a better tomorrow.
Set Realistic Expectations. A divorce is not going to be finished overnight, and it is not going to be perfect. Setting realistic expectations for how the process will go and how your spouse will behave is the key to maintaining happiness throughout the divorce.
Find a Support System. Support systems can come in many different forms, and you can have many more than just one. It could be seeing a therapist and working on personal self-care. It could be a good group of friends to commiserate with. It could be a local organized group of people going through similar situations all looking for support. Whatever it is, find it and find solace in it.
Consider All the Options. There is no one size fits all approach to divorce. Mediation is a great option to avoid courtroom drama, as is working on a collaborative divorce. Decide what you can settle on and what you need to fight for. The process doesn’t have to be overwhelmingly complicated.
Divorce isn’t always lovely, but it can be so much better when it is amicable. At KL Family Law, we believe in helping families move forward with compassion and integrity. Contact us today to talk about your legal needs and what the best next step for you is.
KL Family Law
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