If parenting is never easy, then coparenting is certifiably difficult. For a parent, adjusting to only being with your child some of the time is just as challenging as a child adjusting to splitting their time between two parents. Whether you have joint custody or visitation spelled out in your Parenting Plan, any divorced couples can attest to the stress of raising a child with someone else split between two households.
Coparenting is not a walk in the park, but it is the reality for almost half of all families in the United States. To try and help, here are our five tips for being a better coparent:
Find the Common Ground
We know that you probably have conflicted feelings about your coparent. The best advice we can give is to focus exclusively on the common ground you share with them. They want what is best for your child, just like you do, even if you may not always agree on what that is. There is no need for any of your interactions to be focused on the history between both of you – only your shared involvement and investment in raising your children.
Communicate More Clearly, Not More Often
Some parents are shocked when they get divorced that they still have to communicate with their ex. If you have a Parenting Plan, you probably are used to that by now – but that does not mean it is fun. Our recommendation is to opt for clearer communication, which often leads to less unnecessary communication. Make it abundantly clear what you are trying to say in every interaction. Your relationship should be exclusively focused on the parenting of your child.
Keep It Consistent
Having some shared policies is a good approach to coparenting. We recommend keeping the basics – such as bedtime, entertainment choices, and general diet – consistent across households. This leads to a sense of normalcy for your child. It also helps avoid creating a “fun house”/”mean house” dynamic, which is ultimately a negative attitude for everyone involved.
Ease the Transition
Along with consistency, keeping the transitions between households identical helps children adjust to their new lifestyle. Pick a specific time and place to meet. Stick to that schedule every single time. You can also consider keeping some of your child’s stuff at your house so they do not need to carry it back and forth every time – such as another set of toiletries and bedding.
Ask For Help
There is no shame in asking for help with being a better coparent! Try to find a support system that will be there for you as you adjust. We also always recommend therapy, whether it is personal or with your whole family. For any legal help with family matters, contact KL Family Law today. We believe in helping families move forward with compassion and integrity!
KL Family Law
Latest posts by KL Family Law (see all)
- Relocating? Make Sure Your Existing Custody Agreement Sticks - April 15, 2024
