Divorce is upsetting for everyone involved. Children have an especially difficult time dealing with the stress of their parents’ divorce. It can negatively impact their behavior, their academic performance, and their mental and emotional health. The stress on children can even be so great that it impacts their physical health.
During a divorce, it’s easy to feel like the painful toll on your child is inevitable and there’s nothing you can do about it. Luckily, that’s not true! While your child’s life will never be exactly the same as it was before your divorce, there are measures you can take to make the transition easier for them. In today’s blog post, we have five helpful tips.
1) Be honest with them.
Secrecy doesn’t make things any easier. Children are generally more perceptive than we give them credit for. They can sense when something is going on, and if you aren’t honest with them about what is happening, they may feel they’ve been lied to. You don’t need to give them too many details about your reasons for divorcing, but you should fill them in in a straightforward and age-appropriate manner.
2) Make sure they know it isn’t their fault.
Children tend to blame themselves for the things that happen around them. They are especially likely to blame themselves for your divorce if they have heard you and your spouse arguing about things related to them. But even if they haven’t, they may worry that they’ve played a role in the end of your marriage. Make sure they understand that they are not at all to blame.
3) Therapy.
Sometimes a therapist can help your child in ways that you are simply unable to. Therapists are equipped with the skills to understand your child’s feelings and help them find peace. They can also help your child learn to cope with negative feelings in healthy ways. Connecting your child with the right therapist shows them that you care about their emotional wellbeing and understand that their feelings are legitimate.
4) Create a strong co-parenting plan with your ex-spouse.
You might have strong negative feelings towards your ex, but in many cases, they will still be entitled to have a role in your children’s lives after you divorce. It is important to do your best to put resentments aside and work as a team to co-parent. You should communicate with one another clearly to make sure you’re on the same page about scheduling, decision-making, rules, discipline, and other matters.
5) Take care of yourself.
Your child is always looking to you as an example. Make sure you are taking care of yourself, mentally and physically. It might seem like there are a lot of more important things to attend to than eating healthy, exercising, and taking time to relax, but your child will emulate your behaviors. If they see you coping with your stress in beneficial ways, they will do the same.
Divorce is difficult. It’s okay to ask for help.
At KL Family Law, we understand how divorce impacts every part of your life. We are dedicated to using our knowledge and experience to help families. If you are facing a divorce, we can help. Give us a call at 714-372-2217 to find out what we can do for you.
KL Family Law
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