Going through a divorce is stressful enough without adding avoidable legal complications to the mix. At KL Family Law in Huntington Beach, our team has spent more than sixty years combined guiding clients through California divorce and mediation, and the same handful of mistakes tend to show up again and again. Some come from good intentions. Others come from simply not knowing what the law expects. Either way, these missteps can slow down a case, damage trust between parties, or create legal exposure that did not need to exist.
This guide walks through four of the most common mistakes we see clients make during a divorce or separation, why each one matters, and what to do instead. Understanding these issues early can save time, money, and unnecessary conflict as your case moves forward.
Moving With Children Without the Right Notice or Consent
One of the most common mistakes happens when a parent decides to move during a separation or divorce. If it is just the adult moving, that is generally not a legal issue. Once children are part of the picture, though, the rules change.
In California, a move within the same county is not considered a relocation, but that does not mean a parent can move quietly. The other parent still needs to be told the new address and where the children will be living day to day. Too often, a parent packs up and moves without saying a word, leaving the co-parent in the dark about where their own children are living.
Moving outside the county is a bigger step. If there are children involved, that kind of move generally requires either the other parent’s consent or a court order. A parent cannot make that decision unilaterally just because they feel it is best for the family. Skipping this step can create a custody dispute that did not need to happen, and it can also color how a judge views that parent’s judgment going forward.
If a move is part of your plans during a separation, it is worth talking to a family law attorney before you pack the first box, not after.
Moving Money Without Your Spouse’s Consent
Once a divorce is on the horizon, it is common for one spouse to start rearranging finances, often with good intentions. Prepaying a year of car insurance or utilities might feel like responsible planning. The problem is that these actions often move community funds without the other spouse’s knowledge or agreement.
In California, both spouses generally have a right to know about and consent to significant financial moves once a divorce is being considered. Prepaying bills, transferring large sums, or otherwise shifting community property without the other spouse’s consent can be viewed as a breach of fiduciary duty, even when there is no intent to hide anything or gain an unfair advantage.
This does not mean spouses cannot manage everyday expenses. It means that unusual or large financial moves, the kind made specifically because a divorce is coming, deserve a conversation first, or at least a heads up. If a dispute over finances does come up later, being able to show that a move was reasonable and disclosed goes a long way. Being proactive here, rather than defensive later, is almost always the better path.
Letting Tracking Apps Cross the Line Into Stalking
Apps like Life360 and Find My Friends have become a normal part of many families’ daily routines, often set up years before anyone considered separating. The trouble starts when those same tools stick around after a couple splits up.
Once you are separated, continuing to track a spouse’s location without their consent is no longer a convenience. It can be viewed as stalking, and a stalking allegation carries real weight in a divorce case. It can affect custody arguments, credibility with the court, and even lead to protective orders in more serious situations.
The safest approach is to turn off location sharing as soon as a separation begins, for kids’ devices as well as your own where appropriate. If there is a legitimate safety reason to know a child’s whereabouts, that is a different conversation, one best had openly with a family law attorney rather than handled through an app your former spouse does not know is still running.
Staying Under One Roof While Tension Builds
Cost is one of the most common reasons couples continue to live together after deciding to separate. Maintaining two households is expensive, and many parents also want to stay close to their children during the transition. On paper, it can look like the practical choice.
In practice, continuing to share a home while a divorce is underway can allow small disagreements to build into something bigger. We have seen situations escalate to the point where someone calls the police, and what started as a housing decision turns into a domestic violence allegation with serious legal consequences for both people involved.
If living together during a divorce is the right call for your situation, it helps to set clear boundaries early: separate spaces where possible, a plan for how disagreements will be handled, and an honest conversation about when it might be time to reconsider the arrangement. Respecting each other’s space matters more during this period than it ever has before.
Conclusion
Divorce rarely goes exactly as planned, but many of the most damaging mistakes we see are also the most avoidable. Knowing where the legal lines are drawn, around moving with children, handling shared finances, using tracking technology, and living together during a separation, can prevent a difficult situation from becoming a much harder one.
At KL Family Law, we bring a child-centric, settlement-oriented approach to every case we handle, while staying fully prepared to litigate when that is what a client needs. With personal attention and tailored guidance for each family we work with, our goal is to help you avoid unnecessary setbacks and move toward resolution with confidence.
